Sonning 2nd XI 2 - 0 Wycombe 2nd XI
Maccy Potter and the Topknot of Doom
Maccy Potter was very excited and looking forward to his new term at Sonning School of Hockeycraft and Goalkeepery. He had his goalkeeper trunk all packed with everything he needed for the new term and was looking forward to seeing his school friends again. He jumped aboard to Macwarts Express from platform 9 ¾ (Pricey’s house) and in no time he was watching the countryside fly past as it bought him closer to Sonning. As the Macwarts Express pulled into Sonning station, Mac leapt out eagerly and trotted over to meet his schoolmates. No sooner had he greeted his fellow Gryffindors than he spotted his arch-enemy: Draco Squire. His eyes narrowed. Draco and Maccy had despised each other from the moment they had first met. Pusey Longbottom pointed gleefully at a white container that Squire was carrying.
‘Why have you got a coolbag?’
Squire scowled. ‘Eat dung Pusey! It’s my four litre bottle of milk that I’m keeping cold after my three bowls of Golden Nuggets. Got a problem with that?’
Maccy Potter simply shook his head and walked into the changing rooms. Once he had his Quidditch team assembled, he took his usual place and began his speech.
‘Right then boys, this is normally the point I give a big rousing speech with absolutely no tactics and then completely fucking forget the starting line-up but today I’m going to let Sharpie do it instead’
The team looked expectantly at their seeker. ‘Basically boys, if we want to beat Slytherin in the Quidditch cup this year then we need to get our press sorted. That means close work from the Chasers and communication from the goalkeeper. Mac, make sure you catch the snitch.’
The team trooped out to the pitch and got their first sight of the Slytherins. Hermione Tonks, a fifth year beater, turned with a look of deathly seriousness on her face and said to the team. ‘Top-knot CANNOT be allowed to score’.
It was obvious to all the Gryffindors present that the Slytherin’s on their new Nimbus Two-Thousand-and-one’s were going to be a very talented side. In amongst the Death-Eaters was the only person who could make Luke Weasley feel good about his haircut. The evil Lord Topknotemort was sporting the most ridiculous haircut known to man. All the Gryffindors braced themselves for the task in hand.
When Madam Bosman blew her whistle, all broomsticks took to the air. It was instantly obvious that the opposition were significantly more talented than Gryffindor were but it was also obvious that their ability to work together as a team was about as impressive as Lord Topknotemort’s hairstyle. Sonning’s chasers passed well and pressed hard. Two goals later and despite all their worries, Lord Topknotemort was proving himself to be distinctly average. As Gryffindor pushed further and further towards victory, Lord Topknotemort staggered into Gryffindor’s Dee. He raised his wand and pointed it directly at Maccy Potter’s heart. At the last minute Professor Tufty pointed his wand at Topknot and shouted ‘Expelliarmus!’. Topknot’s were stripped from his shoes and, humiliated, he and his fellow Slytherins left the Quidditch pitch.