Saturday 21st January 2012

Sonning Men’s 2XI versus Oxford Hawks 3XI

Won 2-0

After a recent complaint that some of the more recent Men’s 2’s “MATCH REPORTS” whilst being thoroughly factual and educational, the composition has been ‘biased’ to the more masculine members of the club.

There is an often quoted proverb which states you can please some of the people some of the time but you can’t please all of the people all of the time.

This insight is by no means a new one. Over 2500 years ago the famous Greek slave Aesop illustrated this point in his fable – The Miller, his son and the Donkey. The story is about a miller and his son who were driving their donkey to market. They had not gone far when some girls saw them and broke out laughing. "Look!" they cried. "Look at those fools! How silly they are to be trudging along on foot when the donkey might be carrying one of them on his back."

This seemed to make sense, so the father lifted his son onto the donkey and walked along contentedly by his side. They trod on for a while until they met an old man who spoke to the son scornfully. "You should be ashamed of yourself, you lazy rascal. What do you mean by riding when your poor old father has to walk? It shows that no one respects age anymore. The least you can do is get down and let your father rest his old bones." Red faced with shame, the son got down and made his father get onto the donkeys back.

They had gone only a little further when they met a group of young fellows who mocked them. "What a cruel old man!" jeered one of the fellows. "There he sits, selfish and comfortable, while the poor boy has to stumble along the dusty road to keep up with him."

So the father lifted his son up, and the two of them rode along. However, before they reached the market, a townsman stopped them. "Have you no feeling for dumb creatures?" he shouted. "The way you load that little animal is a crime. You two men are better able to carry the poor little beast than he you!"

Wanting to do the right thing, the miller and his son got off the donkey, tied his legs together, slung him on a pole, and carried him on their shoulders. When people saw this spectacle, they laughed so loudly that the donkey was frightened. The animal kicked through the cords that bound him, fell off the pole into the river and drowned.

The moral of this story is, "He who tries to please everybody pleases nobody."

With this in mind I will endeavour to take on this seemingly impossible task!

Here we go…..Boobs and Moobs

Since the dawn of time athletic women who participate in broad spectrum of sports have struggled with supporting their frontal appendages, (from now on termed as Boobs) in the attempt to reduce bounce and wobble of said Boobs whilst running or jumping etc!

Wearing the right sports bra is critical to your comfort, especially during long periods of Hockey. Follow my 8 steps to make sure you get the perfect one for you.

1. It's important that you try on sports bras for fit and comfort, so try to do your shopping in person. Go to a running specialty store because they'll have high-impact sports bras that are designed especially for runners.

2. For chafing prevention and comfort, look for moisture-wicking fabrics such as Coolmax and Drifit. Stay away from sports bras that are made of 100% cotton because once you start sweating, they’ll stay wet.

3. If you have large Boobs and need a lot of support, look for sports bras with wide shoulder straps and racer back straps.

4. Examine the seams of the sports bras. You'll want seamless fabrics, seams with rolled edges, or covered seams to help prevent chafing.

5. If you like bras with under wire, check that the under wire is completely covered so it will not gouge.

6. Make sure you try on several different size sports bras. The right size for you may not actually be the cup size that you normally wear. The bra is too big if the material wrinkles or bunches. It should fit snugly but not constrict your breathing. And if the bra is cutting into your skin, then it's too small. If you can slide two fingers under the straps, then it's a good fit.

7. When you try on sports bras, jog in place or do jumping jacks to test their support before you buy. While you're bouncing up and down, the bra should minimize breast movement.

8. After you find the perfect sports bra, don't hold onto it forever! You should replace bras after about 72 washes, when the elasticity is lost, or if your weight changes significantly. You can air dry sports bras to prolong the life of the moisture-wicking fabrics.

The above list is not only aimed at aiding the Ladies amongst us, Oh No! It would appear that in this modern age of fast foods and long working days (or due to the long mid-season break) the Male Physique among quite a few of the members is starting to evolve, and Man Boobs or MOOBS are becoming a common sight on the pitch. So for that reason I should like to draw their attentions to the Male bra

Men who choose to wear a brassiere may broadly be divided into two categories, depending on whether or not the brassiere is worn primarily for utilitarian purposes. Some men who have large breasts as a result of obesity or gynecomastia may choose to wear a brassiere to provide support for their breasts and to flatten their appearance. Additionally, some male athletes (more specifically runners) may choose to wear a sports bra under their shirts in order to prevent a common medical condition called jogger's nipple, also known as nipple chafing. This condition is caused by excessive rubbing of wet (sweat soaked) material over one's nipples. The condition often very painful, and can be prevented by wearing a sports bra.

Although some bras for men have been developed, they often differ only superficially from their female counterparts. There is sometimes no medical necessity for men to wear bras, and the same considerations for and against apply to both genders.

Even though the men’s 2’s had several ‘top heavy’ players they still manage to craft out a 2-0 victory with a great display of unselfish simple hockey, with goals from Tim Clay and Mike Squires.

Motm – Mike Squires (with debutant Mike ‘Bunny’ Bunion a close 2nd)

Dotd – Neil ‘Santa’ Davies